GOD, You're FIRED!

God is a bad sales man.

He shows you this product you couldn't have cared less about if He hadn't intervened. So there's this product, right? And yeah, you admit, it looks okay. You nod--it looks okay. But you shake your head right after--you don't need that right now. So God throws you His salesman smile.

That's when you get stuck with the sales talk.

God begins showing you everything this product can do. And man, it can do a lot. It can make your life so easier, provide you with entertainment, make you feel a little more secure, increase your confidence, have you smiling a bit more even. And you nod--yeah that's great. Then you shake your head right after--you already have other things performing those tasks for you right now. So God throws you another smile, bigger this time.

And He shows you how different this is from everything that you have. And how you're one of the special ones He so importantly chose to even just check out the product. Then He gets into further details about how this is like nothing you've ever seen before He tells you how it's only a limited offer and it's for a very low price right now. All you need to do is to say you want it--no commitments.

And so you start thinking. Hmmm, no commitments aye? So all you need to do is to say you're interested? Well, yeah--God says, almost hesitantly. He begins to seem like the offer isn't available anymore so you look at Him with a quizzical expression on your face. God sighs--well, I have to see that you really want it, because of course I'm gonna give it to the one with the best offer. It's really in demand, He adds.

So you begin your own sales talk. You tell Him that ok, you're willing to shell out this much--and that's an amount well beyond what you can actually spend. You say that you're really intent in buying the thing you're willing to do probably some overtime so you can afford it. You say you're really going to make ways and move mountains if only you can have it. And that if He wants He can even check up on it after you've closed the sale to see how good you're taking care of it.

And He nods like He's convinced and you think that it's a done deal. But of course it's not. Because like I said, God is bad salesman. Why, you ask? It's out of stock, God shrugs and walks away. Sorry.

And you find yourself exacty the way you were when you got there, but disappointed. Because now you feel like you're lacking something. You feel incomplete because of this thing you never even had--something you got convinced could be good for you and make life a lot better and it just so turns out that however much you'd be willing to invest, it's just impossible to have.

But ok, I take it back. God isn't a bad salesman. He isn't bad at all. I mean, He almost made the sale had the product been available. So He's good. He just has a sick sense of humor.