Monday, October 24, 2011

Unspoken words

Dear Janine,

I've been thinking about you lately, honestly, i've memorized every details of your face by just staring at your pictures. Every night i can sleep with a smile on my face coz you're the last one i talked with but i don't wanna tell you that I long to see your face again, im scared that it might scare you away. I don't wanna tell you that sometimes i think of you and smile. I really don't know if I should tell you that i have this feelings for you already.

You're a busy woman, a graduating student, i've been there and i know how things work in times like that. But I don't know how long i can stick around and be just another friend. Please don't misunderstood the prior statement, im not hasting you nor telling you to accept what im saying. There's this urge to myself that's telling me to say these things to you, but im afraid.
I'm torn between the chance for everything and a price that I can't pay losing you is something that I'd never chose so I'll just have to wait but it bugs me everyday.

You won't believe it, but i can't show you the best of me, i know i'm a jolly person whenever we talk to, but all i can say is all my jokes and funny things about me, i can't even show you my serious side, not that i'm hiding it, nor that it'll make me look so handsome if you'll know it, it's just that every time I'm talking with you I just seem to lose my head and spend my time admiring instead. You're such a wonderful person. You're fun to talk with and i can already sense the intelligence and the maturity in you. You really shine with your personality eventhough you're saying you're not that kind of a person. Well maybe you don't see what i see in you.

But time came that i don't know if i'll have the chance to say it to you, i don't know if i can still talk to you after this night. Honestly i don't know if you'll read this letter. I don't want any tables unturned, words not spoken, i always believe that the answer is always NO for people who don't ask.

I don't know how long before it breaks me down inside and all my strength has gone away, and i don't want to suffer lifetime of remorse for not saying this.

Im falling for you.

I hope if you've read this nothing will change or if ever change is inevitable, i hope it's for the better.

1 comment:

Le Descorde C'est Moi said...

Btw her full name is Janine Panlilio :)